Tuesday, February 14

DaimlerChrysler returns to its roots, debuts 2007 Aryan SS.

Heath, OH - After 60 years in the making, DaimlerChrysler plans to unveil the new 2007 Chrysler Aryan SS at the Heath Auto Show this weekend.

The SS is a complex political and military automobile made up of three separate and distinct seating areas, all related but equally unique in their functions and goals.

The luxurious Himmler Edition will seat eight comfortably in the spacious main cabin; leaving ample room for up to 20 emaciated individuals piled high in the trunk.

“You’d be surprised how good this car is on gas.” Chief Marketing Officer Erich Davis said, ignoring the irony.

Earlier this week, Davis caused quite a “furor” during a press conference when a reporter asked how much the car would cost. He immediately stood, flipped over the dais and stormed out of the room shouting, “There was no such thing as the Holocaust! Jesus Christ! When will you people come to grips?”