Friday, May 12

"I’m gay" announcement finally pays off
for Rosie O’Donnell.

New York, NY - Years after announcing to no one’s surprise that she was in fact gay, obnoxious and not-so-funny comedienne/talk show host Rosie O’Donnell has finally landed a new gig.

A source has confirmed that Mr. O’Donnell will be replacing the not-so-fat anymore, but still rather scary looking, Star Jones, on ABC’s The View, a show that no one with a day job has ever even seen.

"This is an opportunity for me to provide some much needed lesbian relief." O’Donnell said in an exclusive Ledger interview . "I can do fat, too, which is also something the show has been missing since Star’s stomach stapling."

Apart from playing a retarded dude in some made for TV movie, O’Donnell hasn’t done much since abruptly calling quits to her own popular daytime talk show several years ago.

"I’ve just been hanging out, doing the lesbian thing, you know." O’Donnell said, pinching the ass of her partner for emphasis. "I look forward to doing the same with that Elizabeth Hasslebeck … Man, she’s hot."