Thursday, May 4

No virgins for Moussaoui.

Alexandria, Virginia - Convicted terrorist, Zacarias Moussaoui, got 23 hours a day in lockdown rather than the 15 or so hot virgins to fuck in the afterlife, as promised by the Prophet Muhammad.

Moussaoui, 37, a Frenchman of Moroccan heritage, is the first person convicted in the United States for his role in the terrorist attacks of September 2001.

“Ha ha, motherfucker.” US District Judge Leonie Brinkema said, pointing at the defendant after the jury’s decision was read. “Eat that.”

“I won. America lost.” Moussaoui proclaimed as he was led from the courtroom to thunderous applause and laughter.