Monday, July 10

Hey you. Yeah, you, punk.

You borrowed my VHS copy of Crazy People starring Dudley Moore and Darryl Hannah and didn't rewind it.

I thought I'd enjoy some hilarious 'truth in advertising' courtesy of Paramount Pictures home video. But to my chagrin, all I saw on the screen was "filmed in panavision." and the final strains of "The Hello Song."

Apparently, some two-bit scumbag don't know how to work a god-damned VCR.

My first motto is "Live by the sword, die in a hail of bloody hellfire." My second is "Be Kind, Rewind."

I'm sure you'll be able to remember it after I tattoo it to your forehead in lead, you sonofabitch!

I got me a .475 Wildey Magnum long-barreled widowmaker. It's like a viglante's remote control, you no-good punk! But it's only got one button ... death!

I hope you enjoy hell, you scumsucking forgetful sonofabitch, where everything's pay-per-view!

Charles Bronson was an actor/vigilante and is currently guest commentator for The Heath Ledger. You can find out more about his life and viewpoints in his book, "Read My Book, You Sonofabitch!"

Tax Deliquent
Carbon Footprint
Dump On My Lawn
Be Kind, Rewind
White Slavery
Tainted Smack
Wife & Daughter