Monday, October 2

Perfectly preserved 50’s ad guy found
in agency basement.

New York, NY — (FP) An intern looking for some old ads to decorate the kitchen of Ogilvy & Mather’s Manhattan office discovered what appears to be a perfectly preserved, 1950’s ad guy leaning against a vintage water cooler.

“Tabor, our creative director, sent me downstairs to find some kitschy old ads to put up on the wall and that's when I saw him,” said Ben Stample, a 20-year-old creative intern. “I said, 'hey,' but he just stood there...not moving...then I noticed he was totally dead. And he also had way too much product in his hair, by the way."

Scientists believe that the ad guy, account executive/copywriter Ross Pinkle, had a massive heart attack while talking to co-workers by the water cooler. “He was probably bragging about how many martinis he had consumed at lunch when his fat-laden heart just seized up,” said Dr. Janus Perlestien, head of Forensic Studies at Columbia University. “The high concentration of alcohol in his system, coupled with the quick onset of rigor mortis created a perfect storm of preservative qualities.”

Pinkle’s body is currently on loan to the Museum of Natural History and will be prominently featured in their upcoming exhibit called, “When Jingles Ruled The World.”