Wednesday, July 8

Local man rents The Last of the Homohicans ... “by mistake.”

Newark, OH - James Pendergrass, 38, was recently questioned by his wife of 11 years about the tape she discovered in the couples’ bedroom VCR.

According to the tape’s sleeve, suspiciously positioned on the end-table by the tissues and hand lotion, The Last of The Homohicans, a film by Maxxx Orbison, promises to make James Fenimore Cooper roll over (and then bend over) in his grave!

“I didn’t know. I thought it looked interesting. I'm into history.” Pendergrass said, throwing up his hands. “Besides, I don’t really see anything wrong with two people loving each other — on horseback, in a gently babbling brook or some abandoned teepee.”

After convincing his wife to see for herself before passing judgment, Mrs. Pendergrass had to admit, “The scene where they ‘go down’ in the valley was really quite breathtaking.”