Thursday, December 3

Man distraught about giving week-old son first erection.

Columbus, OH - Todd Clark, 30, knows a thing or two about erections. Like most men, he’s had millions. One even contributed to bringing his son, Avery, to life.

“The thing is you never get a second chance to have a first erection.” Clark said. “The person responsible for it always remembers. Mom still talks about mine to this day. And it’s a little embarrassing.”

Clark’s wife believes Todd may be blowing the erection … out of proportion.

“Big deal. An erection.” She snapped. “Like you don’t wake up with one every morning and have to stand on your hands to take a piss … Lighten up.”

Clark, though, would hear none of it.

“I touched him with one baby wipe while wiping his ass with another. That’s on me. I have to live with that.” He said. “But you know what? I’m glad it happened. First erections are special. I just wish his first hadn’t come from me.”

“You should be more concerned with how he’s hung.” His wife spat. “Just. Like. You. No question you’re the father.”

“It’s okay.” Clark added, coming to grips with his son's erection. “I love my son for who he is and for what he is -- obviously a little gay.”