Wednesday, June 9

Childhood obesity bill stuck in House.

Legislation loaded with pork 'too tired' to play outside.

Columbus, OH — Landmark legislation aimed at tackling the burgeoning waistlines of the state's youth has stalled in the State House of Representatives.

The bill, stuck in the lower house of the General Assembly, is awaiting further review of its exercise mandate, which is opposed by groups representing teachers and school boards had complained that districts could not afford to implement that proposal.

The house is ironically now in recess, playing hopscotch, four-square and tag.

As the bill awaits committee approval, it spends most of its time snacking on Bugles and playing Red Dead Remdemption on XBOX 360 in the Statehouse lounge.

"Every time I see it, it's bigger. I don't think we'll ever be able to get it out of here." lamented House speaker Armand Budish.