Monday, April 9

Heath couple remember "analversary."

The Callahans
Heath, OH – What happened in the wee hours of April 10, 2011, is a sore subject in the Callahan home, but it’s not something Michael Callahan is afraid to talk about.

“One year ago tomorrow, honey. Do you remember? Man, you were so drunk.”

“Is that what this is about? I don’t want to talk about it.” Jodie Callahan snapped, crossing her arms defensively.

“We were at this party.” Michael Callahan explained. “Nine or 10 beers later we’re back home, things are getting hot and heavy. Next thing you know, I’m slipping one in past the goalie!” He tried to punctuate this with a fist-bump, but Jodie looked away, rolling her eyes and tightening her jaw.

After a few more euphemisms though, she had had enough.

“You know what, Mike. You’re right. Ledger readers want to know the whole story.” She said, punctuating the word whole with air quotes. “So here it is, world … Mike’s penis is so goddamn small I hardly felt a thing. I never do.”

It was then her fist-bump that went unanswered.

So far, the Callahans have no plans to celebrate next year’s “analversary.”