Thursday, April 25

Local man cancelled after 42 seasons.

The dog is currently in talks for a spin-off.
HEATH, OHIO -- Pete Santini has been canceled and wiped from the slate of existence despite calls to the Lord for a 43rd season. Thoughts and prayers from those who really enjoyed watching “Santini” all these years—his wife and kids, extended family and friends—fell on the Lord’s deaf ears.

“He was funny. He had a real sweetness to him.” An uncle said. “I just really connected with him early on. Saw a lot of myself in him.”

Many believe Santini “jumped the shark” in season 35 when he had that brief affair with his brother’s wife, and then turned to 
alcohol when his wife Suzie left him. “I forgave him midway through season 36, that romantic episode in Hawaii.” Suzie said.

Santini had turned his life around in the last few years, playing it safe, growing as a person, but none of it in a very compelling way. Ultimately, the head of programming was more interested in ratings than Santini’s many behind the scenes charitable pursuits.

“He just wasn’t reaching enough people,” God said when contacted through hallucinogens.