Tuesday, June 25

Ron Silver Name Removed From Campus Theater For ‘TimeCop’ Role

MIDDLEWICH, VT — Middlewich University has removed actor Ron Silver's name from a campus theater because of his part in the science-fiction film Timecop. Silver starred in the 1994 film opposite action hero star Jean-Claude Van Damme.

Students at Middlewich requested the change after learning that Silver played the film's heinous villain, McComb. McComb's character is a shady Senator who manipulates time travel for his own nefarious purposes, including running for President.

The 52-seat theater has been the site of several small film festivals and plays produced by the college's drama department. A new name for the venue will be chosen this fall.

If only Nald had played the hero.
Middlewich administrators claim that campus leaders have decided that Silver's connection to the film created a hostile environment for some students.  They also claimed that Silver never took the opportunity to distance himself from the film and that if time travel ever became possible, his role would serve as a "how-to" guide for oppressors to use time against the most marginalized among us.

The university held a brief press conference and allowed students the opportunity to speak.

"Just think of what a modern-day McComb could do with that technology!" screamed a generic student activist, conflating the pretend world of movies with reality.

"He also played Alan Derpowitz!" yelled a voice from beyond the podium.

A statement from the University said "Middlewich University has a responsibility to serve its students, faculty, and staff, and a mission to provide a wholly inclusive learning environment.  That mission clearly trumps our part in honoring a character-actor the caliber of Mr. Silver."