Friday, August 30

Local man downloads wrong fitness app.

LEWIS CENTER (OH) — Now in his middle years, Lewis Center man Gary Sullivan has put on a few too many pounds.

"I wanted to lose weight but felt like I couldn't go it alone."

A gym membership seemed out of the question for a busy father trying to make college tuition a reality for his three daughters.

His wife pointed him in the direction of a myriad of fitness applications for his smartphone. She suggested Under Armour's go-to calorie and exercise tracker My Fitness Pal, which has been downloaded by over 40 million people.
Man in the striped pajamas.

However, Sullivan had mistakenly downloaded the much less popular "My Fitness Nazi"

"I get 12 calories a day, and for some reason, the weekly exercise task is building a railroad in a cave with my bare hands. I don't know how much more I can take."

To the app's credit, Sullivan has lost an astonishing 56 pounds in 17 days.

"I wanted to get my abs back. But guess what? I also have ribs and cheekbones now."