Tuesday, October 3

Local Chinaman looking forward to
“erection season.”

HEATH, OH - Wu Tang, proprietor of Heath’s only Chinese-German restaurant, is a newly minted American citizen looking forward to November and its battles at the polls for political power.

“15 minutes after I eat #5 Dim Sum Wiener Schnitzel-special from China Haus kitchen,” Tang proclaimed, speaking of his family’s ancient Chinese secret-recipe, “I become hungly for power! So much so … I might run for office myself! Want free sample?”

Tang, who came to Heath 11 years ago from Berlin via Shanghai, fully intends to exercise his right to vote this November. He also plans to make the most of pre-erection season, now well underway.

“I’m going to decolate my rawn with poritical signs dis year to show my suppawt for candidates.” Tang said with a bow and a smile. “One more year of dat clazy George Bush, then change. Maybe Hirally Crinton take over and socialize health care! Who knows.”

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