Wednesday, March 28

Dublin wrestler named Central Ohio "Half-lete" of the Year.

Dublin, Ohio — Ask any area high school wrestler, and he’ll tell you Mickey Musselman is a lot to handle.

Musselman is a dwarf, and at only three feet and nine inches tall, is Dublin Jerome’s smallest grappler. His teammates will tell you, however, that he is the one with the biggest heart.

“That’s crap.” Musselman contends. “My heart is proportional in size to the rest of my body. So, chances are, it’s the smallest on the team.”

With a 2-point win over fellow 103-lb. class wrestler Brian Bibby, Musselman became the winningest wrestler in Dublin athletics history.

“Man, he’s tough for a little person. I’m ashamed. I let regular-sized people everywhere down.” Bibby sobbed before running away, presumably to cry some more.

Musselman beat out two other area ‘half-letes’ for the prestigious little award: Joey Perkins (4’2”), who led the Thomas Worthington baseball team with 43 bases-on-balls this season. “Dude has no strike zone. None.” Said fellow Cardinal Kurt Melanby, and Brittany Greenberg (3’6”), who amazingly blocked 46 shots as the Bexley Lady Lions power forward. Coach Wade Brockwell remarked “It helps that Brit has a 46 and a half inch vertical leap.”

Musselman is excited about the award, but wishes that people would realize that it takes a whole person to make one remarkable 'half-lete.'