Thursday, September 22

Non Industry-Insider still attempting to decode Variety headline.

Newark, OH — Local filmmaker Russ Trudeau knows a lot about the magic factory that is Hollywood. Or at least he thinks he does.

He knows what a Best Boy does. And a gaffer,too. He can tell you what’s above the line and what’s below. He knows a gobo stand from a gobo head. He even knows what a three-drop stinger is.

But for some odd reason, he can’t get his head around a recent headline in the March 2 edition of Variety:


“Variety headlines can be like unsolvable puzzles, if you’re not in the know like some of us.” Trudeau said. “They're the industry equivalent of the Da Vinci Code. And I am like Tim Hanks.”

Luckily, The Ledger sat in as Trudeau took another stab.

“Boffo – that’s got to be an Italian distribution company. I think I’ve seen their logo before a few flicks — it’s a whistling monkey holding a giant umbrella.”

Trudeau believes B.O. either stands for ‘box office’ or ‘body odor’, but he’s not completely sure which. “Box office is really important, but so is personal hygiene.”

Trudeau then decided that ‘Prexy’ was a porn star who must be going legit in a new show on HBO.

Trudeau grimaced at the thought of reading the actual article to glean a better understanding of the lede.

“I should really be working on my latest script. I’m writing it for Zach Braff. He plays a local filmmaker who is inexplicably rejected by women.”