Friday, May 1

Businessman fails to understand and optimize value added opportunities.

Columbus, OH — Local marketing associate Trey Nicholson believes his career may be in jeopardy after failing to understand and optimize value added opportunities, as directed by his employer, Frost-Muggins Partnership Limited.

"It was right there on slide 114 in the Integrated Leveraged Network Marketing Leadership Workshop PowerPoint presentation. Understand and Optimize Value-Added Opportunities!" sighed the 32-year old Nicholson. "I totally blew it. My marketing days are over."

In his defense, Nicholson has done a fair job at streamlining co-efficiencies, embodying partnership behaviors, updating competency models, and aligning activity to defined insights and integrating across customer-specific channels. His fatal flaw, he believes, was his abject ignorance in the achievement of the marketing priorities which include Integrated Leveraged Network Marketing which would have led to improved marketing results and realization of the defined role of marketing.

"Now I'm situated in a silo of my own application ... I won't be trusted to cross-pollinate or engage in transformational change — you know, change that goes above and beyond regular change. Maybe I'm just not cut out for upper-lower-middle management." cried Nicholson, maximizing tear output through operational duct channels.

Integrated Leveraged Network Marketing is a foundational organizational model used by Frost-Muggins Partnership Limited dedicated to enabling the defined role of marketing with partners and tools that optimizes resources across strategy, implementation, and learning.

(Editor's Note: A proper translation of the terms above was not available at the time this story was filed.)