Wednesday, July 22

Handicapped stall allows non-handicapped man 'room to bowel move.'

Delaware, OH — Jerry Basham, service manager at Carriage Towne Chrysler Plymouth in Delaware, prefers using the dealerships' handicapped bathroom stall to the cramped regular stalls.

Basham, self-proclaimed "World's Non-Competitive Eating Champion" says the spaciousness of the handicapped stall allows him the room he needs to 'lay some serious pipe.'

"I've got to stretch out when I hit the shitter, if you know what I mean."

"I need leg room, elbow room, all kinds of room for the work I do in there." Basham beamed, proudly patting his expansive gut.

Other employees at Carriage Towne Chrysler Dodge Jeep reluctantly testify to Basham's heinous bowel-moving abilities.

"I can only imagine what unspeakable horrors are unleashed in there." said sales clerk Bridget Rowe. "The man's a unstoppable fart factory ... when the service bay doors are closed in the winter it's as if someone evil dropped a nuclear shit bomb in the place. I feel really sorry for Gary."

Gary Bostick is an associate sales director at Carriage Towne , and the lone handicapped employee at the dealership.

"Everyday after lunch, I wish that damned thresher had taken my nose, instead of my legs."

Fists raised, Bostick then cursed his God Almighty. And yours, I suppose.

Related Article: Area Man lays claim to non-competitive eating title.