Tuesday, December 8

Despite sign, area restaurant not serving '100% Anus Burgers!'”

Columbus, OH – George Small of George’s Bar & Grill read from a prepared statement outside the entrance to his establishment this afternoon.

“I sincerely regret the unfortunate misunderstanding the sign outside our restaurant has caused.” Small read. “Never, at any time, did we prepare anus burgers containing any percentage of anus meat to our wonderful patrons.”

People waiting for their tables, this reporter included, exchanged glances as if to say, what in the cuss is this guy even talking about?

Small continued.

“Nor did we at any time serve or eat anus burgers with or without cheese and/or many of the delicious fixins’ you’re accustomed to receiving with all the entrées we serve here at George’s Bar & Grill – the home of delicious food and drink."

Small then thanked us for the time and retreated to the kitchen.

One guy waiting for a table threw his arms up in disgust and stormed out the door, presumably in search of another restaurant serving 100% anus burgers. The rest of us had a salad.