Saturday, September 11

How soon area Alzheimer’s patient forgets about 9/11.

Chillicothe, OH - As the nation reflects on the dreadful events of September 11, 2001, and pays its respects to the victims and families, one man is looking forward to “eating Jell-O and watching some of the old pigskin on the boob-tube.”

Thaddeus Lemke, 87, of the Sunflower Convalescent Home on Eastern Avenue, also plans on making sweet love to his wife Gladys after the game, despite the fact she’s been dead for 22 years.

"Knute Rockne!" He shouted, raising a palsied hand in the air.

“I don’t appreciate the old bastard’s ignorance.” Orderly James Johnson said through gritted teeth. “I lost a friend in the South Tower … I can't accept this from a guy who was stationed in Hawaii and lived through Pearl Harbor.”

“What did you say, Tyrone?!” Lemke screamed.

“Changed his diaper three times a day for five years and he pretends he doesn’t know my name. That’s hurtful.”

“Why are the flags at half-staff?” Lemke asked looking out the window. “Did Roosevelt pass?”

Never forget, people, so long as you can help it.