Monday, April 15

Midget Avenue becomes Little Person Way.

WARWICK, RHODE ISLAND – A small crowd gathered yesterday in a little Rhode Island town to raise a new street sign at the corner of Midget Avenue and Nausauket Road. Residents shouted and clapped as LITTLE PERSON WAY was unveiled.
 “You can turn onto Midget Avenue and take it all the way to the 21st Century!” Richard Walsh of 132 LITTLE PERSON WAY said. “At 5-feet-5, you have no idea how huge this is for me.”

The mayor attended the ceremony, raising a bullhorn to announce with an amplified screech that, “Little Person Way is a giant step forward for little people everywhere.” After fumbling with the bullhorn’s trigger, he then clarified, “At least for you normal-sized residents who live on this street.”

LITTLE PERSON WAY is the result of a years-long fight for change. “We’d finally had enough of people hollering out their car windows if they could wrestle or toss us around a bit. Plus, it’s just not nice.” One person said.

“This is quite inspiring.” Said Hannah Puffin. “I think those of us who live on RETAR DRIVE should take notice.”