Wednesday, September 25

Area fat-ass has literal chip on shoulder

LIMA, OHIO - BREAKING NEWS - A minute ago, Todd Simpson, 26, was spread out on the couch watching replays of Saturday's college football action and stuffing his face, as usual, when his roommate walked into the room. 
“You've got something on your shirt.” His roommate said. “Right there. Your shoulder. It's a chip. On your shoulder. My god, how perfect! Oh, dude. Did you just eat that? Who knows where that shoulder's been — I mean apart from holding the refrigerator door open so you can get more shit to jam into your pie-hole ... Look at the size of you. Good god, man. You’re a disgrace.” 
“I love you too.” Simpson said, never taking his eyes off the television.