Thursday, November 14

Middle-aged man drops antacid.

COLUMBUS, OH - Keith Bullock, 55, of Westerville, took a trip back in time recently, courtesy of long-time Led Zeppelin tribute band Zoso.

"It was totally awesome." Bullock summarized. "I could've sworn it was Robert Plant up there ... Then again, my vision is going. Could've been David Spade."

Just before the show, Bullock surreptitiously removed a small plastic bag he had tucked into his boxer briefs to get past security.

"Zantac." He said to an all-too-close urinal mate, before tossing his head back and swallowing them like the seasoned reflux sufferer he is.

Bullock explained he could afford to take no chances after consuming a giant slice of pepperoni pizza and 2 overpriced beers.

"I can't have the levee of my esophageal sphincter break in the middle of the night and disrupt my beauty sleep, now can I?" Bullock asked, pointing to a face that could certainly use some sleep. "I gotta work tomorrow."